I’m a fairy or some shit
LIKE TINKERBELL AND ARIEL HAD A DAUGHTER
I have permanent bitchface. Because that’s true to life.
- stannis baratheon spent his life trying to be more noble than his gross brother and his reward was jon arryn trying to send the repulsive sweetrobin to dragonstone to foster
- one time stannis baratheon went to a whorehouse to see robert’s baby and was like ‘oh this bastard child is so cute and not covered in grey rotting facial scales like my baby was’
- literally the best thing that has ever happened to stannis baratheon was meeting an evil vagina monster
- once when he asked robert why he didn’t get to rule storm’s end, robert just looked at him and laughed and laughed and laughed until his face was covered in robert-spit and then they just sort of ate dinner in silence
- the only song sung about stannis baratheon is an allegorical ballad about a grumpy lobster with no friends
- stannis is often woken in the middle of the night by patchface sliding under the covers to croon a sad sad song into his ear
- there is room under the covers because selyse has not slept in stannis’s bed in years
- this one time walder frey was desperately looking for a girl to marry off one of his kids to and he looked at shireen and was like ‘noooooope, not good enough’
- back when they were young strapping lads, renly got more pussy than stannis did
- and the saddest fact of all: stannis baratheon’s only friend is davos seaworth
This guy was told by his Homeowners Association that he couldn’t fly the American flag in his front yard.
And Happy Memorial Day!
“I will remember, Your Grace,” said Sansa, though she had always heard that love was a surer route to the people’s loyalty than fear. If I am ever queen, I’ll make them love me.
(Source: rubyredwisp)
So, in the wake of reading this terrifying shit, Postcard and I started chatting, as you do, about the zombie apocalypse. Here are some things Postcard and I enjoy: zombie media, common sense, and YELLING ABOUT STUFF. Thus, for your reading pleasure, please enjoy our simple twenty-step guide to NOT DYING in the unlikely event that a zombie apocalypse ravages humanity:
- IN THE EVENT OF AN ACTUAL APOCALYPTIC SITUATION, ASSUME THAT THE FOLLOWING THINGS ARE GOING TO STOP WORKING: running water (this includes toilets); anything that relies on electricity (this includes gas pumps); anything that relies on natural gas lines (this includes gas stoves/central heat); basically, anything that relies on there being a factory of some variety at the other end of thing you want to make do stuff. THAT’S ALL GONNA BREAK. THIS INCLUDES THE INTERNET. Thus, the most important thing to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is:
- RESEARCH. For as long as you possess the internet, do everything you can to learn as much as possible. Research edible/medicinal plants (or seriously, go into a bookstore and loot your shit a guidebook, they’re not large, they sell little tiny ones, you can put it in your pocket, WHY DOES EVERYONE IN EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE NOT DO THIS). Research, from available information, how the zombies work/which of their senses are functional—for example, if they operate largely by smell, you want to work on smelling not alive. If they operate largely by sight, DON’T LIGHT FIRES AT NIGHT. And speaking of fires…
nevercouldgetthehangofthursdays:
Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Tom Hiddleston & Benedict Cumberbatch as Uni flatmates.
gooDBYE WORLD
Is anyone else seeing James, Sirius, that asshole, and Remus at all?
HAHAHA I figured y’all might enjoy this because we get a lot of messages about “so-and-so looks so much like famous-actor” and IT REALLY IS QUITE EERIE SOMETIMES!
These are amazing!!
(Source: pleatedjeans)
